Dear So and So.....

Dear Guy in the carline next to me at Raley's school yesterday,
    Your car clearly needs a tune up, just listen to it!! And it was a nice enough day for me to sit with my windows down enjoying the fresh air until you pulled up and let your exhaust leak pollute the air while your engine was running for the 15 minutes until school let out. So thanks for the disgusting smell that lingered in my clothes even after I got home. If I end up with lung cancer, I will hunt you down!!

Sin*cough*cerely,
The hacking lady next to you

Dear Dave Ramsey,
    You know I'm a fan. We even follow a self modified version of your program that works better for us than "gazelle intensity" and are very close to being debt free. So while I applaud you for all you do to help people who are struggling to get out of debt, I have to get this off my chest...Telling people who can't afford to pay their own bills that they should still be tithing 10% of their income is RIDICULOUS!!!!!!! I mean, I am not a fan of tithing (or organized religion for that matter) but come on...let's be real here for a minute. Telling them that it is a Christian duty makes me want to puke. If you want to give 10% of what you make to the church, that's fine. But make sure you can feed your family first, m-kay??

Sincerely yours,
A sometimes fan

Dear Dr. Laura,
   Since I wrote Dave I figured I would write to you as well. I have several issues with some of your hard line approaches. For the most part I enjoy your program because I could never see myself having to call you since I have a good solid marriage and wonderful kids. I tend to avoid those who make me crazy and embrace my life. I can't understand how you are against divorce or remarriage if you have kids. I am more along the lines with Dr. Phil on this. He says, "Kids would rather be FROM a broken home than LIVE in one." I agree. Staying together "for the sake of the children" isn't good for anyone involved. Then if someone does get a divorce you tell them they can't get remarried until their kids are grown and out of the house. WTF?? Sometimes, I just don't get you, but that's why I have more channels on my radio, I guess.

Sincerely,
Turning the station

Dear Clay's school,
   Thank you so much for being super cool about Clay's class picture the other day. I kept him home from school and took him to the doctor but it was class picture day and I didn't want him to miss it. Not only did you let me bring him up there (after you verified he was fever-free) you also called his class next so we wouldn't have to to wait around forever since the Kindergarten classes had just started and you were going in alphabetical order (his teacher's name is Winkler!)

Thanks again,
One Happy Mom

Dear Pollen,
    Thank you for the pretty flowers and berries and fruit you bring about each Spring, but the allergies...thanks, but no thanks!!

ACHOOOOO

Dear new owners of our town's children's resale shop,
   It looks like you need to go shopping in a real store to see how much kids clothes cost these days. Charging $3.50 at your store for a "gently used" shirt I could buy at Walmart (brand new) for $3.50 is not going to work. Seriously, it was the EXACT same shirt!! And the single camisole for $2.50 sounds good until I remembered buying a pack of the same ones for Pattie last year and there were 4 in the package for $5. I did the math, yours cost twice as much...and they are "gently used" tsk, tsk

Yours truly,
Hoping you figure it out